The Course in Mastery Day 8: How to Listen

Day 8 of a 30 day challenge designed to help you gain balance in your life. Today, Tom Wood describes the amazing impact actively listening has on your ability to communicate and Dr. Tony Alessandra gives specific guidelines to follow in order to listen more effectively.

Tom Wood

1. Great communicators do great things
2. The level of communication is the level of your life
3. Story of John F. Kennedy by Kenneth O'Donnell
3.1 JFK listens to people and remember
4. Listening is a life-long process


Dr. Tony Alessandra



Dr. Tony Alessandra has a street-wise, college-smart perspective on business, having been raised in the housing projects of NYC to eventually realizing success as a graduate professor of marketing, entrepreneur, business author, and hall-of-fame keynote speaker. He earned a BBA from the University of Notre Dame, an MBA from the University of Connecticut and his PhD in marketing from Georgia State University.

In addition to being president of Assessment Business Center, a company that offers online, 360º assessments, Tony is also a founding partner in The Cyrano Group and Platinum Rule Group--companies which have successfully combined cutting-edge technology and proven psychology to give salespeople the ability to build and maintain positive relationships with hundreds of clients and prospects.




1. The Platinum Rule: Treat others in the way they like to be treated
2. 6 Steps to Effective Listening (CARESS)
2.1 Concentrate
- You cannot listen if you cannot hear, you can hear but not listen
- Focus/Blur
- Figure/Ground
2.2 Acknowledge
- Hitch-hiking theory (The ears follow eyes)
- Eye-contact
- Vocal prompt
2.3 Respond
- Feeding back
- clarifying what was said
- Paraphrasing
- Empathy statements (Tentativeness)
- Let them vent
2.4 Exercising Emotional Control
- Emotionally charge words
- Things people say to turn off listening
- Avoid emotional blocks
2.5 Sensing
- Paying attention to vocal and visual, the non-verbals
2.6 Structure
- Paying attention to the verbal


OJ Lopez

1. Listen and remember
2. Listening is the best gift I can give to people
3. I should listen more. Practice CARESS, especially to exercise emotional control